Episode 39: Arielle Jordan, LCPC
*All information is for informational and educational purposes only.
Arielle Jordan, LCPC: Holding space is just the act of being present with another person without judgment, being emotionally supportive to them, allowing them to express their thoughts and feelings freely. It involves creating a safe space and that contains compassion and accepting environment.
Jessica Fowler: Welcome back to what your therapist is reading. I'm your host, Jessica Fowler. On today's episode, we are speaking with Ariel Jordan about her book, Holding Space, My Story of Grief, Remembering, and Thriving After Traumatic Loss. Arielle Jordan runs Mindset Quality, a unique counseling service that's proud to be black owned, veteran owned, and woman owned.
She's a former Army soldier who's studying hard to earn her Ph.D. in Counselor Education and Supervision. With a solid background in psychology and clinical mental health. Arielle specializes in helping people with tough stuff like PTSD, trauma, and loss using therapies such as EMDR, IFS, and DBT. She's all about making sure everyone from different backgrounds feels welcome and understood.
Besides her counseling work, Arielle speaks about mental health issues, teaches others, and writes books to spread hope and to help people heal. She's committed to empowering people to overcome mental health challenges. And I will give a trigger warning as this book does disclose traumatic events.
If you are enjoying these episodes and would like to support the podcast, the best way is to leave us a review. After today's episode, make sure you head on over to social media @TherapyBooksPodcast to make sure you follow along to know about the latest giveaway. And as always, the information shared on this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only.
Welcome back listeners. Today we're speaking with Arielle Jordan about her book, Holding Space, My Story of Grief, Remembering and Thriving After Traumatic Loss.
Welcome Arielle.
Arielle Jordan, LCPC: Thank you. I'm happy to be here talking about my book today.
Jessica Fowler: It has, it was a very powerful book, I will say that you share about your journey. But before we talk about that, I like to ask the question, what is a memory of how reading has impacted you?
Arielle Jordan, LCPC: So I think that reading is my go to during tough times, I can be alone and maybe read someone else's story that could offer support and guidance. And I believe in like the power of words to heal and connect us. So, thinking of like a specific memory or like books that have stood out to me typically are memoirs, um, but also self-help books and I, I love hearing about how people turn their, their, um, struggles into strength. And so that's what I wanted my book to be like as well, just from how reading has impacted me.
Jessica Fowler: Is that, so that's the hope of the impact that your book will have on others?
Arielle Jordan, LCPC: Yeah, pretty much. I want it to like serve as a companion for those that are navigating that turbulence of grief and loss. So, it touches on a few different areas of pain, but it also talks about resilience because I didn't want to stay in the pain.
So, I hope that my book can help people discover new pathways towards healing and inspire people in their darkest moments, that there's a light. That could lead us to a place of peace or strength.
Jessica Fowler: And so, you don't have to give away the whole book, but when someone is reading your book, do you want to share a little bit about what happens in the book or what the book's about?
Arielle Jordan, LCPC: Sure. Um, it explores themes of loss, trauma, resilience, growth. And it offers my personal journey and the lessons that I've learned as a therapist. So, I saw that there's a lot of grief books out when I was researching, but there's not a lot of books that are written by therapists. So, in my book, it has coping strategies for like anxiety, for building healthy relationships, embracing vulnerability, and then also having a positive relationship with yourself. Which is to me is most important.
Jessica Fowler: Yeah. You talk about that and you do, you give these strategies. You also talk about various forms of therapy that one can either engage in or, you know, just learn about to help themselves. Can you share a little bit about that?
Arielle Jordan, LCPC: Yeah, I think that, um, so I am a DBT girl, which is dialectic behavior therapy. I also love EMDR, which is eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy. And I incorporate those with internal family systems. So that is what's going on in my head daily as a therapist. And as I'm writing this book, I'm like, oh, okay so, we could put this into different strategies to use like DBT talks about distress tolerance.
Okay. We need to be able to tolerate distress. We need to be able to regulate our emotions. We need to be able to think about how, um, we would like our relationships to be and also self-respect. So those are kind of what I drew into as I'm reading, as I'm writing. I'm like, okay, yeah, we can incorporate that. Cause that's also what I practice as well. So as a therapist, I teach, um, or as a teacher, I teach. But in my book, I'm like, okay, so if these readers never go to therapy, at least they can still grasp some of the skills.
Jessica Fowler: Yeah, because even what you said in the beginning, right, that words can be healing. And I think this too, I think, right, there's different ways that books can be useful. So, there's memoirs, which people can identify with. And that can be healing. And then there's like the typical self-help, um, that can tell you what to do, which can be helpful in healing, especially if someone can't go to therapy. And so, sort of what you do is merge the two, right? Share about your story. And here are some things that could be helpful too. That I'm guessing were helpful to you too.
Arielle Jordan, LCPC: Yeah. I don't ever want to just inspire because I feel like that can like fizzle out a little bit. I want to transform. That's my goal and power and transform.
Jessica Fowler: And so, the title of the book is holding space and you talk about that in the book. And I was wondering if you can maybe define that a little bit for our listeners.
Arielle Jordan, LCPC: I think that holding space is just the act of being present with another person without judgment. Being emotionally supportive to them, allowing them to express their thoughts and feelings freely. It involves creating a safe space and that contains compassion and accepting environment. So those are all the things that I think go into holding space. We can explore emotions. You can be on that journey of healing and self-discovery, whatever you need. You can have the space to do that. And so, I wanted my book to be called that because as you're reading it, it kind of starts off, um, with the personal story. So, you, you start to think about things in your own personal life that may apply or you can relate to in your own personal way. So, it begins the journey and then the skills are applied and you're like, oh yeah, I could do that. That makes it better. So, there's, you know, the empathy and the patience and things that go into holding space that I think I tried to capture with my book as well. So hopefully it translates like that.
Jessica Fowler: Yes. Do you have suggestions for our listeners of how they can help hold space for themselves?
Arielle Jordan, LCPC: Absolutely. Check ins. I always tell people to check in with themselves daily, whether it's like a good morning, I'm setting my intention for the day, and then at the end of the day, how did I do? Um, you don't have to necessarily get an A plus every day. Our best looks different every day. However, you can check in and see how I did today. And that way, maybe a little bit, maybe tomorrow could be a little bit better if you check in, but if you don't check in for like a week, you might have noticed I had a horrible week rather than I had a horrible day.
And so the constant awareness, that self-awareness and just being super real with yourself and. Always holding that mirror up when bad things happen or challenges come up, ask yourself, you know, what, what role did I play in that? And try to increase that self-awareness cause I think that's what, where a lot of people get stuck is blaming others and getting stuck in what the world is doing to me or what's happening when really the only thing I have control over is me. So, I need to be checking in and seeing how I can improve.
Jessica Fowler: Yeah, I love that. I talk about that a lot to write that check in even like say a bad moment happens and maybe you get frustrated, or you yell or something. So maybe you can't do it in the moment but can you do it later and then you can check in and start to get to know yourself like what was actually going on for me.
Arielle Jordan, LCPC: Yes. I am so big on self-awareness. I, yeah, we could do a whole talk about that.
Jessica Fowler: Agreed. Cause right, if we don't know, then we can't work at it. So, we have to be aware of it, right?
Arielle Jordan, LCPC: Yep.
Jessica Fowler: Absolutely. I just wanted to bring up too, I hope this is okay, but if you can maybe, I know you talked about, some of the themes, but I also wanted to bring up that part of the story talks about that you were in the military. I didn't know if you wanted to share a little bit about that, but I loved that. So, I wanted to highlight that a little bit.
Arielle Jordan, LCPC: Well, yeah. I mean, so I couldn't really tell my story without leaving that part out because that, that was a significant piece and it, it wasn't all rainbows and sunshine, unfortunately, you know, um, but being in the military, it definitely plays a role in who I am, and I think that's why I decided to like include that in the book. I'm curious what part stuck out to you that, you know, really resonated with you.
Jessica Fowler: Well, one, I mean, just that you had had that experience and kind of talking about some of the challenges and trying to advocate for yourself and that there was some miscommunication. And so, I just, I just thought I would. I wanted our listeners to know that that is part of the story too, if that resonates with anybody else. Um, cause there's lots of themes, there's a theme of loss in here and that, and then how you overcome. And so, um,
Arielle Jordan, LCPC: Yes. Yeah. I, and that's what I wanted to capture. There's different layers of grief. Um, And then for my personal experience, it included racism in the military. So, there's a layer of grief that comes with the loss of camaraderie, the, the fear of, you know, no one has my back and being put in a very dark place that you really can't get out of because you signed a contract. So having to navigate that I think that goes back to the stress tolerance right because I couldn't how to do what I had to do, but I had to also not let it damaged me to a point where I couldn't recover. And so, and also could play into self-awareness too, noticing what's happening so I can get out of it and not be stuck in that place. Know that I too need to heal from this piece of it as well. So that definitely ties into like the layers of grief that goes into my story.
Jessica Fowler: Thank you. Who would you say your book is for?
Arielle Jordan, LCPC: My book? Hmm. I would say anybody that has ever lost something that they loved or someone that they loved, and you're searching for that meaning in the aftermath of trauma, you know, for anybody that's seeking to understand the complexities of grief and the human heart, you know, um, whether you're directly experiencing grief or you're supporting someone that is, I would say that the book offers insights that are universal, that includes different parts of loss and recovery. Um, I talked a little bit about parental loss, child loss, divorce, you name it. You know, um, a lot of us can relate to those different types of losses, even though I didn't cover every type of loss. Most of those are relatable.
Jessica Fowler: You're open and sharing your story. Yeah. What made you decide to write the book?
Arielle Jordan, LCPC: I wrote the book to share truths that I've encountered on my own journey through grief and my professional practice as well. So, it's like a tribute to resilience and a testament to the power of love and healing. And my goal was to create something that could reach out to others in their moments of need and offer empathy and understanding and hope. So almost like I had to, I wanted to become who I needed during that time. And then share that with others.
Jessica Fowler: I love that. Well, thank you so much for coming on the podcast today. What is one way our listeners can connect with you?
Arielle Jordan, LCPC: Um, so they can connect with me on social media platforms. I'm on LinkedIn as Arielle Jordan. I'm on Instagram as Arielle N. Jordan and Facebook as Arielle Jordan as well. And my private practice is called mindset quality. So that is separate, but, um, my social media is mindset quality as well for my business side of it. So, I kind of do both. I do like private practice and then I have my speaking as, as a separate thing.
Jessica Fowler: Wonderful. Well, thank you. Thank you for listening to this week's episode of What Your Therapist is Reading. Make sure you head on over to the website or social media to find out about the latest giveaway.
The information provided in this program is for educational and informational purposes only and although I'm a social worker licensed in the state of New York, this program is not intended to provide mental health treatment and does not constitute a patient therapist relationship.
About the author:
Arielle Jordan, LCPC runs Mindset Quality, a unique counseling service that's proud to be black-owned, veteran-owned, and woman-owned. She's a former Army soldier who's studying hard to earn her Ph.D. in counselor education and supervision. With a solid background in psychology and clinical mental health, Arielle specializes in helping people deal with tough stuff like PTSD, trauma, and loss, using therapies like EMDR, IFS, and DBT. She's all about making sure everyone from different backgrounds feels welcome and understood. Besides her counseling work, Arielle speaks out about mental health issues, teaches others, and writes books to spread hope and help people heal. She's committed to empowering people to overcome mental health challenges.