Episode 03: Kate Stark, PhD
Jessica Fowler: Hello listeners. Welcome to What Your Therapist is Reading. I'm your host Jessica Fowler, LCSW. Today we are speaking with Kate Stark, PhD about her children's book, Enjoy the Ride, a book to help understand and cope with feelings. Kate Stark, PhD is a licensed psychologist and licensed specialist in school psychology in South Lake, Texas. She specializes in therapy and evaluations for children and adolescents. Dr. Stark's passion for use of humor and metaphors and therapy inspired her to write this book. And please note that the information shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only.
Today we are talking with Kate Stark on her book that she wrote, Enjoy the Ride, a book to help understand and cope with feelings. Hi Kate, welcome to the podcast.
Kate Stark: Hi. Thanks for having me.
Jessica Fowler: I was wondering if you could start with sharing a little bit about yourself and your practice.
Kate Stark: Yeah, uh, so I'm a, a licensed psychologist and also a school psychologist. Um, but right now I'm practicing in, in, outside of the school in a clinical setting. And, uh, I work with mostly children and adolescents for counseling. And I do a little bit of testing as well, um, for kids who are having, you know, difficulties, you know, mood or their school or with friendships or, you know, things like that. Um, yeah, I've been, uh, practicing for about 10 years now in, in Colorado and Texas. Um, but, um, now in, uh, the Fort Worth area.
Jessica Fowler: Nice. Thanks. Um, tell us about your book. What is your book about?
Kate Stark: Yeah, so, uh, my book is, it's mostly for, I would, I would say, children in kind of elementary school age range. Although I will say that, you know, kind of depending on the open-mindedness of the individual reading can be applied really any age range. You know, there may be some adolescents who think the illustrations look, you know, more for a child, but I, at the same time, if it's, you know, done in the right way or read in the right way, I think some, you know, young adolescents would still appreciate it, but it's mostly to kind of get a really basic understanding of, uh, emotions and how emotions affect are behaviors and how our thoughts are also, um, you know, players and how we're in interpreting events and how we're, how those contribute to our emotions and our actions and how you can use, uh, various techniques, um, to help manage your emotions and also be more self-compassionate to the, you know, being a human being and, and having emotions. Yeah.
Jessica Fowler: So you have this chameleon…
Kate Stark: Yes.
Jessica Fowler: ..who goes on this ride and talks about a range of feelings and has a backpack with tools.
Kate Stark: Yes.
Jessica Fowler: Right. What you actually do when you're feeling anxious or sad or angry.
Kate Stark: Yes.
Jessica Fowler: I love this idea. Is this something you used in your practice to begin with and just wrote a book about it, or where did this come from?
Kate Stark: No, it honestly, it was sort of a bit random. Um, I, you know, I love animals and I think, you know, kids really relate to animals and, and the illustrations and just in general, they can be, you know, sometimes you can portray them as being a little bit more silly and they can be relatable. Um. But, um, but I wanted the, you know, the chameleon because you know, uh, because of the, you know, changing colors can also give that visual image of how emotions are or portrayed. And the, the backpack with the, with tools was also, I, I wanted to have kind of a way to help kids remember, uh, coping skills in a way that's more, um, I guess, uh, it's more fun. It’s kind of another way to make connections. Um, you know, the coping skills that I I talk about are really pretty basic.
Jessica Fowler: Mm-hmm.
Kate Stark: Um, but kind of the, the metaphors um, for the objects that I talk about and how to use the coping skills like the space suit for taking space and having that, you know, be an astronaut.
Jessica Fowler: I love that.
Kate Stark: Thank you. Um, so those, I had never really used those metaphors, of course, like taking space and taking deep breaths and doing distraction activities and all those coping skills were ones I've, I've taught before, but the, the way that I kind of translated them in the book was something that, um, it was kind of just came to me while I was thinking about how to make it more memorable for kids.
Jessica Fowler: Well, ,I definitely think it's memorable. Um, it stuck with me just the metaphors that you used, even the candle. Um, but I loved that you talked about the feelings and you gave a tool. So, anyone reading this, like I envision like a therapist using this in their sessions, but I also envision just a parent, right? Often, you know, they wanna know how to help kids who are struggling. Not even struggling with emotions just having emotions, right? And talking about it and making it normal. Here are some tools that you use, but the one thing that I really liked about the book was that at a young age that you're starting to talk about that all of our thoughts are not necessarily true.
Kate Stark: Mm-hmm.
Jessica Fowler: And how many adults do we see that don't know that, that we struggle with, that our self, we just assume that the thoughts that we're having are true. Um, and they're not always true, especially when we're feeling bad about ourselves.
Kate Stark: Mm-hmm.
Jessica Fowler: Um, you know, did something and then are being hard on ourselves. So, I love that you're bringing that into the conversation.
Kate Stark: Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah, I appreciate that. That's, and that's why some of the feedback that I got from adults was like, I know this is meant for kids, but I actually really benefited it from it, especially if they hadn't, you know, been in the mental health field and or hadn't been through therapy themselves. You know, I think it, it's, you know, for a therapist reading it, they may think, oh yeah, you know, that's important and you know the, everyone should know that. But yeah, you're right. A lot of adults don't even really know how to challenge and reframe their thoughts and kind of distance themselves from the thoughts that your brain throws at you when you're having a really intense emotion.
Jessica Fowler: Mm-hmm. Yeah. It's teaching 'em at a young age that they don't have to follow that narrative that's happening. Their brain likes to fill in the blanks…
Kate Stark: Mm-hmm.
Jessica Fowler: …and filling in the blank isn't necessarily true.
Kate Stark: Yes. Yeah.
Jessica Fowler: So, I just, I don't know. I loved that about the book. Um, what made you decide to write the book?
Kate Stark: Um, I really wanted to have something to use, uh, as a therapist. Uh, also something to read to my own kids to help them know, you know, that emotions are normal and how to, how you experience them and, and how to cope because, you know, have two toddlers in their, they've got some big feelings.
Jessica Fowler: Mm-hmm.
Kate Stark: But yeah, in therapy, I really, I really find, I guess, humor to be really valuable in working with kids. Um, you know, cuz you know, kids are still at the age where their, you know, playing and enjoy goofiness and so I wanted to kind of bring that into the book and not make it so serious. Um, and so, uh, yeah, those kind of the main reasons. And, and I, it has also kind of evolved a little bit where I think it's been, there's been a few teachers that I've given it to who've been, you know, it's not just being used in therapy that, you know, they're reading it to their class or…
Jessica Fowler: Mm-hmm.
Kate Stark: Um, gen ed general education counselors or, you know, you know, um, reading it to kids that are coming in their office and things like that. So.
Jessica Fowler: Yeah, I could definitely see it being used in that way…
Kate Stark: Mm-hmm.
Jessica Fowler: Right? Social emotional skills are, you know, a lot of schools are sharing that in the classroom, and this could be a great tool to just share and give, you know, something to do. Often we just kind of talk about the feelings, but here's something you can do, um, with it. So, I love that.
What would you say is, what are two takeaways you would like your readers to walk away with?
Kate Stark: Um, I would say, uh, that having, that no emotion is bad is, is one takeaway that all emotions, you know, serve a purpose in communicating something that we care about. Um, and like a, you know, a need that we need to address or, um, you know, how to advocate for yourself or, um, how to interpret, uh, the various stressors that we encounter on a daily basis, and that, you know, emotions are just absolutely necessary and you don't need to, um, be ashamed of them. Um, but that you do have some control over, um, how you respond to them so that you don't feel so, uh, helpless when you're having a really intense emotion. So, I guess, yeah, being compassionate, being accepting to them, knowing that you have some control over them, um, and also being accepting to the fact that sometimes they're there and you don't necessarily have to control it at all times. You can allow yourself to have them.
Jessica Fowler: Yeah, I love that, that it's okay to have the emotions.
Kate Stark: Mm-hmm.
Jessica Fowler: Yeah. Nice. Well, thank you. I appreciate it so much that you came on and to share your book with our listeners today. Where can our listeners find you?
Kate Stark: Oh yeah. Um, thanks for having me. Um, yeah, so, uh, you know, if you wanna find the book, it's on Amazon and it's on Barnes and Noble Press. And, uh, if you wanna find me specifically as far as, you know, working with me in therapy here in Texas, um, I'm at, uh, https://www.peacepsychologycenter.com and I'm in, uh, South Lake.
Jessica Fowler: Excellent. Thank you so much.
Kate Stark: You're welcome.
Jessica Fowler: Thank you so much for listening to this week's episode of What Your Therapist is Reading. Make sure you head on over to the website or social media to find out if there's a giveaway going on. The information provided in this program is for educational and informational purposes only, and although I'm a social worker license in the state of New York, this program is not intended to provide mental health treatment and does not constitute a patient therapist relationship.