Episode 64: Steven Bisson, LMHC
Steve Bisson: Mental health therapy should be just like a physical, you go once a year, you're good. Go home, be okay for a year. If not, go to mental health therapy regularly and then maybe you space it out.
Jessica Fowler: Welcome back to What Your Therapist is Reading. Today we are speaking with Steve Bisson about his book Finding Your Way Through Therapy. Steve is a licensed mental health counselor, podcaster and author. He was born and raised in Montreal and has been working in the mental health field since 1999. He has worked in many different parts of the mental health field, including crisis work, law enforcement, and as well as outpatient. Currently, he owns his own private practice, straight to the point therapy. If you are enjoying these episodes, make sure you leave us a five-star review. Also, make sure you head on over to social media @therapybookspodcast to learn about the latest giveaway. And as always, the information shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only.
Welcome, Steve.
Steve Bisson: Well, thank you. I'm very happy to be here.
Jessica Fowler: So, as we talked about, I like to start the show with the question of, can you share a memory of how reading has impacted you?
Steve Bisson: You know what's interesting is that my mom always encouraged me to read. I. Um, and when I was a kid and reading books like, you know, obviously the cardboard books we all read, but once the books got a little more complicated, I had a limited interest in that. So, my mom changed that to magazines and she knew I liked sports and that I liked, uh, professional wrestling among other things. Um, and so she'd buy me those magazines and then, oh look, there's a book on this, sports person, that professional wrestler. And so, for me, that's how my love of reading really took place. Um, I don't mind fiction, but I'm not a fiction reader. Um, I'll read fiction here and there, but ultimately, um, you know, I. Growing up in Quebec, we had to read a lot of fiction for the equivalent to English class, obviously in, in America. But uh, yeah, nothing really stuck, struck me all that well, a couple of things but not that much. And of course we had to read End of Green Gables. I had to read some Shakespeare 'cause I was in the bilingual class for English. So, uh, ended up reading a lot of different books. But ultimately what really grabbed me as I grew up was, uh, autobiographies. And biographies obviously. And I always, you know, maybe that's the psych guy in me, but I like to hear people's stories, and I think that's what really grabbed me on all those things. And if you looked at my library, you'd be like, there's a lot of psych books, there's a lot of biographies. And that's pretty much what my reading is.
Jessica Fowler: Oh, that's interesting because here you are a therapist and reading a lot of biographies and autobiographies, but I also love that your mom saw in you that maybe this was your interest and helped you just gravitate towards, you know, not the typical will. You have to read your book. Here's a magazine on a topic that you liked. I love that.
Steve Bisson: And I think that that's where, you know, we, we tend to wanna force people to read certain books in the classics. And while I'm okay with classics, I'm not putting them down by any stretch of the imagination. But if the Catcher in the Rye is not your kind of like book reading, then why would I not let you read? Oh, you really like Taylor Swift and we were doing pre-interview. I get my daughter's Taylor Swift books that are like decent, but they, they read that, they eat it up, they like to read anyway, so it's not a big deal. But at the same time, why not gravitate towards things that are interesting to people versus saying, no, you gotta read this, that the other.
Jessica Fowler: Do you have a favorite biography? I mean, besides Taylor Swift, but.
Steve Bisson: I have yet to read Taylor Swift. I will be honest with you. Um. I, I'm, I'm trying to think out, I'm thinking out loud. One that really come up comes up to me is a professional re wrestler by the name of Mick Foley who had different personas and his, I first, I had autobiography called, um, Have a Nice Day. To me it was very impactful because I was able to see someone who has a professional wrestler, and I know these. Outcomes are predetermined to me. It's like, uh, live Broadway, every single time you watch professional wrestling. And he talked about the art of what's when it's real too, because he's had a few injuries, but really got lifted the veil to all that and if you're a non-professional wrestling fan, I recommend this book. And if you're a professional wrestling fan, I recommend this book. So, I would say that probably one of my favorites was, uh, Mick Foley. Uh, Have a Nice Day.
Jessica Fowler: Nice. I'll have to check that out. So, with your book, finding Your Way Through Therapy, what is your hope that your readers, how they will be impacted?
Steve Bisson: Well, you know, like this book was written because most people said you, I have a unique style. As a mental health therapist, I've, um, helped mentor people. I've helped people, uh, you know, day to day when I worked in a nonprofit organization and someone said, you know, you should write about how you do work And, you know, I whom it in ha, and then took me three years to write it. But really the book's motivation is to kind of like explain I think both to clients and therapists, what the experience is in therapy and what would be therapy with Steve and, you know, um, the chapter. Um. I can't remember all the titles, but you know, being real honest, real change. The honest, real change has always been my kind of motto as a therapist and as a human being. And, um, I. I think there's honest, real change. I talk about mind, body, spirit, talk about first responders, and I use a lot of expressions. So, it was really a reflection of what I've done as a therapist, but also to let people kind of like see, um, the insides of therapy because I think sometimes that to me, if we can lift a veil that we're not sitting there and psychoanalytic psychoanalyzing people or electro shocking people or whatever, people have misperceptions of therapy and how it works. That really was my motivation to write that, that book.
Jessica Fowler: So, I can see that. 'cause I can see, or you have some talking to therapists and then to the clients and kind of interweaving what that is like for you and your perspective of being that therapist. Can you share a little bit kind of what that's like for you? So, when someone opens their book, kind of what they see and what they're getting,
Steve Bisson: What I tried to do is almost make, call it whatever you want it, like mini blogs for every chapter I. So basically, if you wanna know about addiction treatment, there's a chapter on addiction treatment. You can jump to that. You wanna talk about first responders, there's a chapter on that. What does it mean to seek change in therapy? What does that look like? There's a chapter on that. So, for me, there is a continuation as you read the book about if you do it in order, it makes a lot of sense, but also for a reader who might be like, gee, uh, I don't even know what therapy is. Well, you know, go see the chapter on demystifying therapy. Um. The type of expression would a therapist use? Probably not so many French Canadian expressions. I have a few in my book, but I share a few of what they mean and why I use it. In what context? And that's helpful for therapists because I think sometimes we end up as therapists being told like, here's the lines, here's the boundary, here's the tunnel we gotta live in. And I'm like, there's no such thing as a tunnel as long as it helps the client, which is really the goal. And I talk about those expressions that I really like, um, that I still use to this day. Like, so, you know, I didn't really re-looked at the book in a few months, but I remember looking at those expressions. I'm like, oh shoot, I used that almost weekly. So, it really is about that. But I really think that. A reader would pack, grab my book and can get to what they want almost immediately by reading that chapter. But seeing the continuation is so helpful for individuals, and I think that reading the whole book helps.
Jessica Fowler: Well, I can see that too. I can see how it's, each chapter is kind of how you said like a com, you know, like a blog post on a topic, but you cover all things that for most people are covered in therapy, so maybe, you know, someone's not a first responder, so that doesn't apply to them. Or maybe substance abuse isn't necessarily what they're there for, but everything else, right? There's these things come in and out of, what happens in therapy, and I think the whole thing is about, you know, demystifying what therapy looks like, like this. These are things that you talk about in therapy. It's not what you might think it is based on what you've seen in TV or television or something like that.
Steve Bisson: I've seen it too many times, people asking me, you know, and even to, you know, my dad when he was, you know, passed away a few years ago, even to the day, the day he was on his deathbed. Not quite that day, but he told me he is like, people pay you to talk about their problems and well, it's not that easy that no, but they literally pay you. Okay. Yes, dad. And that's also another inspiration so that people who don't quite understand what therapy is kind of can look at that and like, oh, so it's not just talking about your problems. Oh, it's not just, and it talks about that process.
Jessica Fowler: Yeah, we don't just sit here and totally listen to your problems and not say anything or help you through them.
Steve Bisson: I'm sure that there's place for the Rogers of the world and the Roger Rogerian process, but, uh, not exactly most therapists that I know.
Jessica Fowler: You said when we first started that you. I have been told you do therapy a little bit differently. Can you share a little bit about what that means?
Steve Bisson: Well, this is my second language, so sometimes me doing the like politically correct language and putting it in that order and speaking that way is just not my strength. Um, I. You know, um, I sit there, especially with my first responders, when they say something hard, obviously I don't overtake the conversation, but sometimes I'll be like, wow, that's really screwed up. And as much as people will be like, you, is that gonna shut them down? Like, no, they feel validated because they heard like, oh shit, someone thinks that that's that way. Um, if you need to bleep me out, let me know. But, um. But at the end of the day, I think that that's one of the things that I've done is I've taken away from like a therapist always having to be professional, so to speak, and just no reaction and no, I, I am a real person. I want to be a real person in therapy, and I think that's important. The other thing I think I do is,as a therapist, we're also not encouraged to share our own lives, and I'm not saying that. I sit there and go, hey, listen, you know what? Me and my daughter were having a conf, no, I don't talk about my problems in that way, but if I had a conflict with my daughter that I re, they used resolution that they could use, you know, I was having a conflict, blah, blah, blah. Here's the resolution. We came through by talking about this. Do you think that would be helpful with your son, with your daughter, or whatever? I think that using real life examples of what you've been through. It's been very helpful and it's not something that you learn when you go to a master's class. You know, like I, I, I know that I, in my classes, they were to like, no, don't do that. Um, so I think the uniqueness of that swearing in therapy, I think finally we've kind of like changed that, what you can say, what you feel. Um, I think that that's really important for us. And I think it's also kind of important too, show that if you show to me, what I feel is different, and I think that people have bought into it since, is if you're authentic as a therapist in therapy. You will encourage authenticity from those clients in return. And to me, that's what some clients have said to me, like, oh, you've been through crap. So, you know, um, you know, so when I work with my first responders and I talk about being in this street, working with them for crisis work or working in a jail and stuff that happened there. People are like, you've been through real stuff and they feel like they can open up, which is again, was shunned upon for so many years in our field. To me, I'm like, I'm not saying I share my problems. That's for my therapist to know what my problems are. But if it can help someone, why wouldn't I share my personal story?
Jessica Fowler: Mm-hmm. Yeah. I do think that there's a shift that's happening, right? Because when I went to school, it very much was you don't share anything. I talked to someone about this the other day about, you know. Conversations around like, do you even say if you're married or not married? If someone asks you if you have a ring on, like, these are things that we'd like, have conversations about. And now that's like, that's, you know, the least of like a concern I have when it comes to self-disclosure. Right. And being authentic in session and, you know, it's just not that way anymore. Like, I wouldn't even think twice about, um, you know, those kind of questions anymore, so. Right. They don't wanna know that. They wanna know if you've. Seen stuff or been there or can really help them. That's really what people wanna know.
Steve Bisson: And if you know, the book is all about also kind of like what you've been through and telling people like, you know, that's can be beneficial for any client to hear. And again, not like I have unresolved stuff just like any human being. That's why I have a therapist and I don't bring that up to counseling. If I have a fight with my girlfriend, for example, I don't kind of like go, oh, so me and my girlfriend the other day were, no, that's not, that's not what disclosure is. But giving real life examples and kinda like, also like for me, giving the, you know, I'm all for diagnosis I guess, but I'm anti diagnosis in the sense that I don't treat a diagnosis. I don't know about you. I treat the symptoms, I treat what helps people move forward. But I don't sit there and go, all right, well you've got generalized anxiety disorder, F41.1, these are the three treatments we're gonna do. No, I can't do that. I just can't. That's just not who I am. Um, and I think that giving permission through the book
that therapists can do that and clients can do that. You know, I'm here for anxiety, but I'm really depressed 'cause my cat died. You're like, sorry, let's talk about your anxiety. I don't wanna hear about your cat. No, of course. So, you gotta be careful with those rigid structured and rigid determination, and that's what a bit of what the book communicates I feel to people is that you gotta go with the flow with the clients.
Jessica Fowler: Mm-hmm. You have to meet them where they're at for sure. And it is, you're right. It's not, well, they came in for anxiety, so we only have to stay in this lane and not talk about all of these other things that can be coming up in their life. That's just not how it works.
Steve Bisson: Yeah.
Jessica Fowler: Who should be reading your book?
Steve Bisson: Well, to me, if you're curious about therapy and how it works. I think you should read my book. It's written. Um, I don't use a lot of technical jargon. I know the technical jargon. I don't like it, so I don't use it in the book so people can know a little bit more about how therapy works, how I would look for most therapists. By the way, my book is not unique in the sense that most clients I know told, or most therapists I know kind of do that at this point. We're no longer as rigided as we used to be. So, bringing that reality of what therapy looks like, too many people think it's like the Sopranos, uh. or they think about, uh, the old, uh, couch lying down and the, the, the therapist is at the head and we're only talking about your mama or your dad. Um, so I think it's demystify that whole idea. So, if you've never been in therapy and you wanna know what it's gonna look like, go buy my book. It'll give you a good indication. This is not, while it's unique, what I do, I don't think my approach is unique in the sense that a lot of therapists I know do that. I think that for therapists, giving them permission 'cause I think a lot of therapists even come to me and like, oh, I told my client that I was getting a divorce. Okay. Did you talk about it for 10 minutes? No, I just said I was getting a divorce. That's fine. Really? I'm like, yeah, 'cause you gotta be yourself. And I think with therapists, what I, if you grab this book and you read it, you're gonna learn how to give yourself permission to be yourself in a counseling session. You know, the reality is, is that people don't want a rigid therapist. They want someone who can relate to them. Um, so I think that therapists can really benefit from this book. And, uh, having clients who have bought the book and read it, they're like. You know, now I get what you're doing. And I'm like, okay, great. Uh, did you catch me yet on anything? No. It's kind of like who you are. But my clients have said to me like, you know, now I understand your method. And I said, yes. There's always a method to my madness. And I guess I put that method into mat, my method of madness onto a book. And hopefully people really enjoy that and get it to a point where they, and they, they can give themselves permission to be themselves, whether it's therapists or clients in therapy.
Jessica Fowler: Well, thank you so much for coming on today and talking about your book. Where can our listeners connect with you?
Steve Bisson: They can connect with me several ways. They can reach me on my website, Steve Bison, B-I-S-S-O n.com. You can go to real Steve Biso on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, or X, whatever they're calling it this week. I'm also on LinkedIn and you can obviously listen to finding Your Way Through Therapy podcast. We're on, we're going on a third year now, so we're almost done with a third year. Um. Can't wait for people to go there too. It talks about a variety of topics that go from people pleasing to first responders, to military personnel, to mental men, and you have to listen to it to understand. So, it's just a little tease here, but uh, it really is a reflection of the book, which you book, you can get at, you know, Amazon, Barnes and Nobles. Um, and, um, obviously you can always reach me if you want to book and I'll sign it for you and leave you a little message.
Jessica Fowler: Wonderful. Well, thank you.
Steve Bisson: Well, thank you. I appreciate it.
Jessica Fowler: Thank you for listening to this week's episode of what your therapist is reading. Make sure you head on over to the website or social media to find out about the latest giveaway. The information provided in this program is for educational and informational purposes only, and although I'm a social worker licensed in the state of New York, this program is not intended to provide mental health treatment and does not constitute a patient therapist relationship.
About the author:
Steve Bisson is a licensed mental health, counselor, Podcaster, as well as author. Born and raised in Montreal, he has been in the United States work in the mental health field since 1999. He has worked in many different parts of mental health, including crisis, work, law-enforcement, as well as outpatient. Currently, he owns his own private practice, “Straight to the Point Therapy “.